Passions: My heated gilet is cosier than a blanket or a throw, and it's cooking me like a sausage

Well, I think that March is a bit of a meanie too. Spring officially starts, but there are still some wickedly cold days. The worst ones, in fact,

I was hoping that, around now, I’d start to feel warmer in my freezing ground floor flat. Nope. It’s still like a walk-in meat locker. I feel like I am an experiment in cryogenics waiting to happen. The first live candidate.

To see me through, I have cast all style aside and am donning a Snugel heated gilet.

I’d love to be swathed in cashmere and Fair Isle knits, but they’re not enough.

This isn’t my first time dabbling in heated appliances. I already have an electric blanket and, last year, when energy costs rocketed, I invested in a fleecy heated throw on Amazon. (Yep, this is being middle-aged, in all its rock ‘n’ roll glory). However, you’re supposed to keep it flat, so I soon discovered that I can’t bunch it around me while in my office chair. My husband has one too, and he breaks all the rules, but I fear he’s going to self immolate.

Hot water bottles are a hassle and I’ve toyed with the idea of slathering myself in mustard and chilli sauce, but that was a desperate moment.

My newest addition is worn over my thickest jumper, so I’m double bagged. The interior pocket contains a rechargeable battery unit, which is plugged into the gilet. You press a button on the chest and, voila, you’re teleported back to your spacecraft. No, not really, but it does seem that futuristic.

There are three heat settings, but I always go for the top 45 degrees centigrade one, which is indicated by a flashing red button. Sizzle me, as if I’m a sausage. I want to be the hottest Joey in the pouch.

Honestly, the bliss I feel, after the thing heats up. When the warmth first hits, I go a bit drowsy, and need to have an extra coffee. The best hot spots are around the neck, where I feel the draught most, and in the toasty pockets.

It’s also interesting that, if your core is warm, the extremities take care of themselves.

So, I only wish that I’d discovered this gadget earlier. Now that I have it, hopefully next winter (and spring) won’t be quite as cruel.

Heated Gilet, currently £74 (usually £110) and Power Bank, £26 (usually £40), www.snugel.co.uk