Leader: Who'd want to visit such an alien landscape?

THERE'S something out there, they're sure there is. Latest X-files released by the government show there were 61 reported sightings of unidentified flying objects over Scotland between 2002 and 2006. These range from a strange flying saucer-like craft over a reservoir near Dunfermline to a mysterious triangular one sighted near an oilrig and strange objects in the night reported in the vicinity of Balmoral.

Now, we would not wish to be disparaging about the people who reported these weird and wonderful manifestations in the sky over old Scotia. They saw what they saw, though in the case of the reservoir craft it is a pity the spotter did not use his camera after being lulled into a sense of relaxation by whoever or whatever was in the craft he saw, and subsequently drew an image of.

However, we do wonder whether these visitations are likely to continue in such numbers for much longer.

Put yourself in the place of any self- respecting alien. You come to take a look at the Earth and what do you find? Riots in the streets, economy in meltdown and, in Scotland, torrential rain in the summer. If ET landed you can bet your life he'd want to phone home. His message to his alien chums would be: "Get me out of here!"